“Dragon Tattoo” movie: on-screen coffee count

“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” — Mark Twain

My stars, what a week it’s been. For all of you who have been breathlessly awaiting another posting from the Swamp, my abject apologies for keeping you in unhappy suspense. (For those of you who have not, please accept a complimentary smiting.)

Anyway, things have been very hectic here at the Swamp — it’s been a classic case of “Ask and ye shall receive,” as my grandpappy Eldridge Smiter used to say. A few weeks back I was lamenting that work had slowed to a trickle and was uneasily murmuring “Hello and welcome to Wal-Mart” in preparation for my possible future occupation. But suddenly the floodgates of bounty opened and, along with rehearsals for a theatre production in which I’m participating and my usual roster of spin classes, I’m suddenly busier than a one-armed paper-hanger.

Wow, this is so much easier with two arms.

(Aside: why would anyone with just one upper appendage take on the job of paper-hanger? And why did that woman with the oozing skin condition take a job as a waitress, virtually guaranteeing that her patrons would push away their meals, untouched? But I digress.)

Anyway, things have been seriously bonkers, but it did not stop me from rushing out with my good friend Ann to see “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” on the weekend. Time constraints prevent me from reviewing it in detail, which is probably a blessing as I would tend to gush, but let me say only that I loved it, absolutely loved it. It is true to the book (with one exception, below), and Ann, who has not yet read the book, says it was magnificent even without knowing the story.

OMG, this film is just the best!

And, because you know you will ask me otherwise, I will tell you the Coffee Count, which is where the movie differs radically from the book:

On-screen depictions of coffee consumption: 7 (including a spitting-out of foul brew)

On-screen mentions of coffee: 4

As regular readers of both Dr Smiter’s Blog and Mr Larsson’s books will know, the on-screen coffee count is far, far below that of the actual Lisbeth Salander books, probably because to include dozens of references to coffee would have made the film longer than a Wagner opera. But otherwise the producers have done a bang-on job of bringing this to the big-screen.

Anyway, to summarize: go see “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” at once. Take the afternoon off if you have to; tell your boss you have ebola or Legionnaire’s disease (this is a shout-out to one of my subscribers, in case it seems random, which it is) or have fallen down a well. It is worth every penny you will pay for it, and is the best 2.5 hours of fun you can have with your clothes on.

As for me, duty calls (or rather, screams and throws itself on the floor, waving its limbs hysterically) and I must needs answer, alas.

I bid you adieu for now.

— Dr Smiter

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