Dr Smiter’s Baby Name Book

Wouldn’t it be funny if a family gave all their kids trendy “verb”  names? Picture it: Parker, Walker, Hunter, Cooper, Tyler….

You could have Parker Hunter, who would grow up to be that guy who follows shoppers thru crowded parking lots waiting to nab the space they vacate. And you could have Tyler Walker, who would show up at noon to take your bathroom renovator (“tiler”…get it?) out for a stroll. The possibilities are limitless.

Couldn't you just call me Steve or Jim or something??

Years ago I worked with a woman whose last name was Carr. Her sister (no word of a lie) married a guy whose last name was Parker. And the question of the day was, of course, “To hyphenate or not to hyphenate?” I never did hear what happened, although I have for years been surreptitiously on the lookout for offspring named, say, Willie Parker-Car.

(He would, naturally, be right up there on the list of famous authors such as I.P. Knightly, who wrote Rusty Bedsprings, and Ai Bang Mye Ni, acclaimed author of Oh, How I Hate My Coffee Table.)

I understand, from a Loyal Reader, that Smiter is actually a venerable surname in the British Isles. But when the day comes that some (admittedly brave) soul christens their child Smiter, as a first name, my work here will be done.

Smiter out.

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