Ask Dr Smiter: how shall I revive thee? (and why?)

Dear Dr Smiter,

If I ask my boss to send me on the staff CPR/First Aid refresher course, and she refuses because I’m “only” part-time, am I allowed to simply point, laugh, and do sweet-flock-all in the event that she has a heart attack or chokes on her lunch in the office?

–Arheddis Boulsheet

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Dear Arheddis,

Absolutely! Better yet, send me your mailing address and I’ll send you a complimentary set of Dr Smiter brand pom-poms and a matching air-horn. Take plenty of pictures.

Toothy regards,

Dr Smiter

(Disclaimer: I must say here that I think everyone should have a working knowledge of  CPR. Go here for a look at the basics. Think of the Bee Gees’ song “Stayin’ Alive” to get the rhythm & tempo right. Basically, if someone’s heart has stopped, doing something is better than doing nothing. And learning CPR is best of all – it takes one morning of your time and costs about $100.

As my great-grandma Dr Aorta Smiter used to say, “You could save a life some day. Even if that life belongs to someone who apparently has oatmeal for brains.” — Smiter out.)

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